In the previous post you read the horror story of dating, or at least for me it was at first. And then I met David. After going out for a month or so I was starting to feel like I had really met the unicorn of men. He was smart, sweet, thoughtful, and he always went out of his way to make me feel good. I decided I wanted to introduce him to my girls and my family. I had always been cautious about letting anyone meet my family before. If it didn’t work out there was no reason why they should have to be burdened with the process of the whole ordeal. David was different though. Nevertheless, I was still a little worried about how my girls would react to him. They were, and are still, very protective of their mama, and they don’t care a bit to tell you what they think (I’m not sure exactly where they get that from…hmmmm).
Looking back now, I can honestly say I don’t think I had anything to worry about. David has a nature to him that just appeals to people. The girls liked him instantly, my mom loved him, heck my dog even loved him and she didn’t like most men at all! He immediately fit in with my family and it just felt right. I had found “the one”.
So how do you know that you have found “the one”? It’s different for everyone, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. But there are some basic signs that will alert you to the fact that you may have hit the jackpot. One sign for me was that I never felt like I had to be something or someone else other than who I really am with David. I can be just me, all outspoken, forthcoming, honest to a fault, and no filter self. He still loves me. Always find someone that you can be yourself with totally and completely.
Another thing that I have noticed over the last three and a half years of being with David is that I love his touch, and I’m talking about ANY touch. We can be walking through a store and he will put his hand on my back and I melt. I love having his arms around me at any given moment and that is something that I have struggled with in the past. I was always one of those “this is my personal space and that is your space, don’t trespass on my personal space” kinda people. That all changed with David. It sometimes feels like our hands are magnets and somehow find their way together even when we aren’t really thinking about it.
David and I have so much in common, yet we also have differences. We both love to read, go thrift store shopping, hit flea markets, go fishing, or just watch a good movie. I love to collect old radios while he loves to collect and fill in on his Spawn comic collection. He is a computer genius and I am a coupon genius. We still make it work. I don’t think we have ever had a date or time together that was just downright boring. Find someone that you can enjoy being with even if you are doing nothing at all.
While there are many, many, many, different signs that I could list that would help you determine whether or not you have found “the one”, the most important sign, to me at least, was that things just fell into place like a perfect jigsaw puzzle and that made our relationship easy. My family loves David, my girls love him, his kids love me, and believe it or not, we can both be friends with our respective ex’s. Things are just smooth, no drama. I’m too old for drama and high school BS now. I like the easy, comfortable, and relaxed life that we have together. I can see our future together 40 years from now.
My last piece of advice is this: when you have, or think you have, found “the one”, don’t be afraid to give your heart to it. Take the risk of putting yourself out there and into the relationship 100%. Let loose on the restraints just to see if that unicorn will pick them up and hold you together with them. Relax and enjoy the ride because if he IS “the one”, it will be the trip of a lifetime!
This completes the series of Life After Divorce.
***UPDATE: Since this post some things have changed. In September 2018, David decided that this was not the life he wanted. I was not part of the life he wanted. Our 3.5 year relationship and life together has ended. This goes to show that no matter how “good” you think something is, people are human, things change, feelings change. And Sometimes there just nothing you can do about it. Does that make either of us bad people? No. Does it break my heart to have lost the one relationship and love that meant everything to me? Absolutely. But I have to respect the fact that things changed for David and that he no longer had the feelings and connection for me and our life together. So life starts over yet again for me. I have to accept that I will never have David here to share the smallest details of my day and my life with again, and that is hard. But I still have a great life. I have to believe that I am a good person and that I have a lot to offer someone that is looking for someone like me. I have to believe this is part of God’s plan and that He has something greater waiting for me. I also have to accept that this might just be how my life is suppose to unfold. I have to remind myself every day that I matter, in some small way, I matter, I have a purpose. I may not know what that is, and I may never know. But I matter.
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